To be honest, this post was going in a completely different direction. It was going to be a gift guide on sexy lingerie for your significant other on Valentine’s Day. You know, the cliché post that’s all about these gorgeous Fortnight Lingerie pieces that YOU MUST OWN for your man on V-Day. Because…Valentine’s Day is all about that…apparently?
Why do we think sexy lingerie is just for men?
Why do we wear it for anyone else besides ourselves??
And WHY aren’t we wearing it to just feel sexy in our own skin?
Well, because many of us don’t feel sexy enough to wear it. I mean, it’s certainly an issue I’ve created in my head.
Raise your hand if you’ve questioned your body while wearing lingerie. ”I’m too fat, I’m too thin, I’ve got massive love handles, My stomach flab is showing, I’m not sexy enough to wear this…”
Does this sound like you? Not going to lie, I’ve been there. Many times, actually. And I’m ashamed of feeling this way. I know I know, I shouldn’t be ashamed because a lot of us feel this way. But WHY, though?
We look at a magazine, see the perfect woman with the perfect curves, wearing the most flattering piece of lingerie, and then we instantly want to be her.
And I know what you’re thinking. ‘look at this skinny chick complaining about her body issues…what does she know?’
Well let me tell you, I have some SERIOUS stretch marks on my ass that I’ve HATED literally all my life. I would dread wearing bathing suits around my friends because of the stretch marks. Mainly because none of my friends had stretch marks on their bums. And I was like, WTF? Why do I have them?? What kind of 15 year old has stretch marks on their ass??? I have NO CLUE where the fuck they came from, but they are there, for everyone to see. I tried EVERY stretch mark cream that was advertised to get rid of them! Obviously nothing worked because they are still there…
My point is, I once was the girl that questioned my body. (Just like anyone) And if we’re being honest, from time to time, I still have self-consciousness issues. But the more I share my story, and the more women I talk to about body issues, the more I feel empowered. My body isn’t something I should be afraid to show off.
So, for years I wore bathing suit shorts. You know, to cover up my stretch marks so that no one could see them. But now, older and wiser, and working on my self-confidence issues, I’ve grown to accept them. I don’t have to love them. But I do have to accept them. I have stretch marks on my ass, and who the fuck cares? I definitely don’t anymore. Give me a thong bikini and I will strut my skinny, stretch-marked ass proudly!
When I shot these beautiful Fortnight lingerie pieces for the blog post, I was mortified of sharing the photos. I mean, I’m practically naked in them. And a part of me was thinking ‘what if I’m judged for these photos?’
But then the other part of me, the strong woman in me pushed those thoughts out of my brain. Because, fuck that. And who cares if I’m judged? The point of this post is to EMPOWER women to love their bodies. Every. Kind. Of. Body. – Fat, skinny, stretch marks, love handles and all.
And like, why are we judging? Let’s not do that, K?
Listen – I don’t want to give you fluffy advice on self-confidence and body image. I’m not going to say “own your body, wear what you want, smile more and be confident!”
Because confidence isn’t a switch that you flick on and BAM, you’re there! It’s a work in progress. It’s learning to change your thoughts and beliefs that have been engraved in our brains for years and years.
It’s hard work. And we have to keep working at it daily. We have to STOP comparing ourselves to the perfectly toned woman on magazine covers. We have to stop scrolling Instagram and wishing we were like ‘that girl’. We have to work on ourselves. All day, everyday. But more importantly, we have to accept our flaws. We ALL have them. And as I mentioned before, we don’t have to love them, just accept them.
Start building a positive relationship with your body:
The next time you look in the mirror, instead of saying “man I wish I was skinnier,” find something you like about your body. Pick ONE thing. And do it again the next time you look at your body. Pick two things. And keep going. When you start noticing the things you love about your body, those small flaws will slowly fade away.
Ask yourself WHY you dislike parts of your body:
Like, really get into the root of why you don’t like something.
I don’t like my stretch marks.
Why? Because they’re ugly.
Why? They’re a flaw that people see and I don’t like them.
Is this your body’s fault? No, I guess that is just the way I am.
What can you do about this? Try every kind of stretch mark cream/lotion on the planet.
And if that doesn’t work? Start to slowly accept that. Be more confident in my body.
After all, no matter what you look like, confidence is still the sexiest thing a woman can ever have.
Let go of what the media says is perfect:
Big boobs, size 2, small waist, long legs, toned booty, and tanned. Omg they always have to be tanned. (J-LO Bronze)
The above list is a standard list that the media uses to portray how women should look. But like, WHY is the media defining how we should look? Let’s squash that. Instead let’s look around us. We see different shapes and sizes every single day. And everyone is beautiful in their own way.
Be grateful for your body:
Your body is SO much more than its physical appearance. It walks, it talks, it’s smart, and it functions. So, be grateful for that. There are so many people who don’t have that ability and never complain about “not being sexy.” They would give anything to even walk. So, let’s just be grateful, and stop picking at our little flaws.
Now go and love your body, you sexy, gorgeous, talented, smart, funny, and BEAUTIFUL woman.
I’m off to slip back into these stunning pieces of lingerie and flirt with Andrew while he cooks us dinner. This will be fun. LOL.
On another note, I’m wearing Fortnight Lingerie, and OMG if anything makes you feel sexy as hell, it’s these gorgeous pieces. I love this brand. They are Canadian and SO CHIC. I’m wearing their Ivy Classic Seamless undies, and the Ivy Longline Bralette.
So tonight, browse their site, pick something SUPER SEXY, add to cart, and love your body. 😉
Psssst. Don’t forget to check out my post on How to be a BADASS BABE.