Okay, let’s pull the curtain back on pregnancy shall we? I want to chat pregnancy reality with you guys. Because the truth is, no one talks about the bad stuff.
Originally this post was going to be called “Why I Loved Being Pregnant”. And as I started writing it, it felt wrong to just share the good, and not the bad. The truth is, there are so many great things about being pregnant, but there are also so many things I hated about it too.
Listen, some of you are going to think, ‘man, what an ungrateful b*tch she is’. Because yes, I struggled to get pregnant, and here I am complaining. But, let’s get clear. I’m not sitting here typing away my complaints about pregnancy. I’m merely sharing my truths about it. Pregnancy is a total mind-fuck if you ask me. So I want to share the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. I’m not holding back or sugar-coating shit. This is my pregnancy reality and I want to share that with whoever wants to read/listen.
I know this post may be triggering for some people. And I absolutely understand if you don’t want to read it. If I’m being honest, a post like this would’ve triggered me two years ago while I was in the thick of my pregnancy struggles…
But, I’m a sharer and always want to share the HONEST stuff about life with you on this platform. No bullshit, sugar-coating over here.
Let’s start with the things I love about pregnancy.
PREGNANCY REALITY: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BEING PREGNANT.
…and my new boobs. LOL. Pregnancy boobs are great. They went up two cup sizes and no one was complaining. Especially my husband. 😉
But, let’s talk about the bump. Something I’ve wanted to experience my whole entire life. Ever since I was a little girl, I would stuff pillows under my dresses and pretend to be pregnant. I would care for all my dolls, feed them, bathe them, and tuck them into bed. I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom.
Which is why it was SO hard when we went through our infertility journey. The unknown of whether or not I’ll ever get pregnant was extremely hard on me and my mental health. It was something I did not think would ever happen. My whole life I prepared my body for this exact moment, so when it didn’t happen right away for us, it was really difficult.
Now that I have this little growing bump, I’m in love, and in awe. Awe of how women do this and have been doing this forever. It’s mind-blowing to me and I’ve loved every second of my bump.
CONNECTING WITH MY BABY:
The fact that I have a human baby girl growing in my tummy is something so natural yet so unbelievably bizarre. This is a huge pregnancy reality for me. There is a bond between her and I that is so heightened, it’s kind of unexplainable. I mean, you hear people say it all the time, that the kind of love you have for your children is like no other. But you really never understand that until you’ve experienced it. And even just having her in my belly for now is an insane kind of love. I just want to protect her every second of the day.
Every kick, movement, tumble, hiccup, and push that I feel inside me makes me smile. I love talking to her, praying with her, laughing with her, and even yelling at her when she won’t go to sleep at night. “Honeyyyyy, time for bed now kayyyy!” LOL.
WATCHING MY HUSBAND TURN INTO A DAD:
This is so fucking cheesy, but I never thought I could fall more in love with Andrew. Somehow that happened during this pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, there have been some moments…where I wanted to kill him. But throughout this pregnancy, he has been so attentive to my needs, so reassuring when I’m panicked, and on another level of caring that I’ve never seen before.
I always knew Andrew would be an amazing dad. It’s something I saw in him on our first few dates actually. One of his biggest values was, family first. And I saw that with him and I loved that about him. If Im being honest, we talked about kids on like our 3rd date. LOL.
Anyway, watching Andrew do “dad things” like install the car seat, built the crib, read about pregnancy, talking about birth, make me take my vitamins has been wild. It’s given me a new appreciation for him.
EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT:
I mean, what’s not to love about this?! We will talk about how I couldn’t eat anything in 1st trimester later, but 2nd and 3rd trimester were AMAZING. I’m eating absolutely everything in sight, and about two times as much as I used to. I guess it’s true what they say about ‘eating for two’? My senses are definitely heightened and food just tastes WAYYYY better to me.
I haven’t craved any junk food other than cheesecake. I craved that for about 3 weeks, and am over it. My current cravings are brussels sprouts (LOL) kiwis, raspberries, mangos, salmon, and anything spicy!! I need LOTS of spice.
I really wish I was into pickles and peanut butter like other pregnant women….
LEARNING ABOUT BABIES/PREGNANCY:
This is another pregnancy reality which was amazing for both Andrew and I. Before even trying to get pregnant, I obviously had no idea about tracking my ovulation, which I learned about pretty quickly. But throughout our infertility journey, we learned SO MUCH about my body, how it works, different fertility procedures, what and why HCG, progesterone levels, AMH were important, etc.
But now that I’m pregnant, learning about pregnancy, birth, & babies has become so prevalent in our lives. We’ve been reading so much on parenting, babies sleep schedules, preparing for birth, and post-partum. We’ve also attended so many classes online that have helped in so many ways. Every class has been a little different, and we feel so much more prepared after each class.
Below are some of the classes we did:
PREPARING THE NURSERY:
I meannnn, decorating another part of the house?! SIGN ME UP. Do you guys want a nursery tour/breakdown? I have loved every second of decorating the nursery. We didn’t jump into this the moment we found out I was pregnant. Because, I had a lot of anxiety and didn’t want to jinx anything. We started on the nursery pretty late actually, and it’s still a bit of a work-in-progress.
But, from what everyone was telling me, it’s that you don’t need to have the nursery ready the second your baby arrives home. So, I’m taking my time. I went with neutral colours all over the room for a calming vibe. I need my baby to sleep. LOL.
Check out the nursery wall mural we painted! It’s super cute!!
Also, check out baby items I’ve bought so far for the nursery/myself.
Mmmmk, let’s talk about some things I hate/hated about being pregnant….
PREGNANCY REALITY: THINGS I HATE ABOUT BEING PREGNANT.
1st TRIMESTER VOMITING 954784 A DAY:
HOLY F*CK. Was this ever a pregnancy reality that came in hot! When we were trying desperately to get pregnant, all I ever prayed for was morning sickness. LOL.
This was a tough, tough go. It started around week 8 and ended around week 13-14. I wasn’t able to eat a thing! And no, it wasn’t just nausea and it didn’t happen only in the mornings. It was mainly in the evenings and into the night. Full on barfs. Multiple times a day. Sorry, but I told you we weren’t holding back.
I had lost a ton of weight, and was SO weak. There were times Andrew had to pick me up off the bathroom floor because I literally didn’t have the strength to move. I had chills from throwing up. My body was shaking after each barf. It was SO BAD. I lived on ginger tea, lemon, light soups, tangy fruits, and mentos for 6 weeks. I thought it would never go away. I laid on the couch all day without moving. Moving made my nausea worse.
For 6 weeks, Andrew took care of all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I didn’t step foot into the kitchen because everything in sight made me sick.
I had read a lot about “morning sickness” but nothing on how bad it could get. So, here am I, sharing this with you in case you’re going through it. Hang in there!!
Where do I begin with pregnancy anxiety? Now, even in my 38th week, I still get anxiety. Throughout my entire pregnancy I’ve felt stress, doubt, concern, and fear. I will eventually write an entire blog post about how real pregnancy anxiety is, but for now, I will just mention a few things about it.
When you go through infertility, or anything traumatic for that matter, your anxiety can haunt you later on when things are going well. And there’s literally nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel better. Obviously there are amazing therapists out there and professionals you can talk to. But when we found out I was pregnant, as happy as I was, I was 10 times more scared. I was so scared that another miscarriage was going to happen. In fact, we had to rush to the hospital because of some bleeding at 8 weeks. Right away your mind jumps to all the worst case scenarios.
There has not been a trip to the bathroom this entire pregnancy where I haven’t checked for bleeding.
Andrew has been a rock throughout this entire pregnancy. There have been many times he’s had to talk me out of negative, fearful thoughts. It’s been such a stressful ride of ups and downs. This is my pregnancy reality, I guess. I just want to share that it has not been rainbows and butterflies.
Again, if you’re experiencing this, you’re not alone! It’s so hard to hang on to hope sometimes when you’ve been through the shit. I 100% get that.
Weight gain has been a total mind-fuck for me. Obviously I know you gain weight during pregnancy, but it doesn’t shock you any less. Throughout this pregnancy, I’ve gained about 30 ish pounds. I know that isn’t a crazy amount, but for me, it is. That’s 30 extra pounds I’ve never had in my life before. It’s mind blowing, exciting, weird, and all the things at the same time!
I love all the weight I’m gaining, and happy that my little girl is growing in there, but all this added weight takes a toll on my body as well. Again, something I have never experienced before. Which brings me to my next pregnancy reality.
BODY ACHES & PAINS:
The body aches, the back pains, the sore feet, the cramps, and just the overall slowness of movements is a WILD TIME. I would say I’ve always been pretty fit my whole life. I like working out here and there, but I’m extremely energetic normally, I can spring out of bed, get in and out of the car easily, tie my own shoes, and move quickly for anything.
Pregnancy is a whole new territory for me. I’m super slow moving, struggle with getting in and out of the car, getting my winter boots on, hip pains are the worst, and in 3rd trimester I’ve had the joys of pelvic bone pain. Literally, my vagina bone hurts like a bitch. Yes, my baby is head down and that’s why…
It’s not easy to see myself this way. It’s a little terrifying if we’re being real. I’m very much looking forward to getting back into a good workout routine and feeling more like myself post baby.
Okay, those are my pregnancy realities. I’d love to know yours! Did you guys have a hard time, loved being pregnant? Share below in the comments. I LOVE hearing other people’s pregnancy stories. No judgements whatsoever either!
Also, all the photos on this blog post were taken by the talented Emily Li Photography. Check her out here!
++ If you want more baby/pregnancy content, check out How We Announced The Pregnancy To Our Families. (It’s cute)
+++ And if you’re over pregnancy content and want more beauty, check out 4 Products For Glowy, Dewy Skin!