S E L F-C A R E – What does it mean, and what are some examples of self care?
Itβs something we hear a lot these days. I read an article about this the other day, and it struck a nerve. It got me thinking about what self-care really is, and why we need it. Not only once in a while, but every single day of our lives.
What is self-care? Well, when you think of self-care, you immediately think of warm, candle-lit baths, or indulging in something you love, or taking a vacation, or finally booking that spa day. Kind of like escaping real life so that we can mentally take care of ourselves. But isnβt self-care MUCH more than βescapingβ our everyday, exhausting life?
Why are we getting to a point of exhaustion where self-care ends up being an escape? Why arenβt we taking care of ourselves everyday so that we donβt need to escape? We should be going on vacations or spa days to ENJOY life, not escape it. Iβm also sorry for saying βESCAPEβ 93472835 timesβ¦
Donβt get me wrong β a spa day or a vacation sounds amazing, and Iβll take that any day. But thatβs because I love to travel and experience different cultures, not βget awayβ from life. I feel like most people indulge in these things to try and get away from their life. They hate work, so they take a sick day and self-care by eating pizza on the couch and binging 9 hours of Netflix. Thatβs not self-care my friends. Self-care is hitting up the gym (even when you donβt want to), making a healthy meal (even though pizza is on your mind), taking a nap to ease your mind and relax your eyes from too much screen-time (even though you want to binge Grey’s Anatomy).
βTrue self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice toΒ build a life you donβt need to regularly escape from.β β Thought Catalogue.
So, what do we need to be doing everyday to achieve this self-care?
Maybe itβs looking at your social media and not having the perfect feed. (GUILTY!) We are so absorbed with social media these days that we are indulging in consumer self-care. We are worried that people will look at our feeds and not like them. We are afraid that weβll get judged if we use the wrong filter. Can we just forget what everyone else is thinking for a second and focus on what WE want? Self-care is not giving a fuck about what others think. Itβs about doing what YOU want and whatβs right for you.
Maybe self-care is looking at your finances and deciding that you need to make some major changes. You know, before you end up broke. Self-care isnβt necessarily all good. Itβs about making uncomfortable decisions for a better future. If you keep brushing away your financial statements and living paycheck to paycheck, you will continue to live like that…forever. Self-care is looking at those statements and realizing you need to budget. Or maybe it’s getting a second job. Or starting to make coffee at home to save that extra change. Itβs whatever you decide you need to do to start saving. Because self-care is looking ahead into the future.
Maybe self-care finally accepting that you need to lose weight and start making home-cooked meals everyday and watching what you eat. Like, instead of treating yourself, you make choices in life that are good for your long-term well-being. Maybe itβs waking up extra early to hit the gym. Or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Or making those green smoothies every morning. All these choices affect your long-term health. If youβre lazy now, youβll be lazy forever. Stop binge eating. Thatβs no good for anyone. Yes, the idea of sitting on the couch with a large pizza and an entire bottle of wine, watching 9 hours of Netflix MAY sound like heaven, but the reality is, youβll end up feeling like shit. Not only because youβve just eaten a large pizza, and consumed way too much alcohol, but also because youβve been sitting for 9 hours and thatβs terrible for your body! I get that itβs not a daily thing you do, however, why do it at all? To live your best life? UM NO. Because youβre slowly deteriorating this way. Instead, have a couple slices of pizza, a glass (or two) of wine, and maybe 2 hours of Netflix. This way youβre still getting in ALL the fun stuff, and not killing yourself in the process. SELF-CARE.
Maybe self-care is finally telling that negative friend in your life that you no longer want to be friends. Yes, itβs uncomfortable, but thatβs what self-care is. Why are you hanging on? You know they are no good. They arenβt contributing to anything positive in your life, so why not let that go? Itβs never a good feeling to end a friendship. Iβve done it. Twice, actually. Itβs all kinds of emotions. Sad, confused, relived, you second guess your decision. But give it time, youβll realize youβre better off without that person. Self-care is appreciating the real friends you have and making sure you spend time with people who matter.
Maybe self-care is acknowledging anxiety/depression and figuring out what you need to do to get better. Maybe thatβs getting professional help, maybe thatβs being alone for sometime, or maybe thatβs being around people who understand where youβre coming from. Itβs not running from your anxiety or depression, because if you do that, it will come back. Instead, itβs facing it head on, and coping with it so that you get better. THAT is self-care.
What Iβve learned is that self-care is looking slightly (not too much) into the future. Itβs being able to accept yourself so that youβre not constantly exhausted from trying to beΒ everything. Itβs working on a life that you donβt have to escape from. Itβs enjoying things like warm, candle-lit bath instead of using it as an escape. Itβs choosing a life that feels good over looking good.
Start self-caring now. Donβt wait another day. Youβre too important to wait for one more day to pass. Cool? K – get to it.
And on another note, let’s talk about this mustard coat for like ONE SECOND. Because it’s too cute not to notice, right? It’s got that 80s vibe to it, and I’m ALLLL for that. It’s been around that -2 weather lately, and I’ve been wearing this coat everyday. Let’s just say, I’m fucking freezing in it. This coat is more appropriate for that +14 degree kind of weather. I just couldn’t wait any longer.
Also – dress over jeans. Yeah, I’m into it. It just happened, what can I say? I really wasn’t going to shoot this LBD on it’s own in -2 weather. EFF THAT. So I threw it over these jeans and actually liked the look. Loving the plungy neck line on this dress too. Super flirty and sexy.
Ok, I’m off to have a cup of hot water & lemon while I watch ONE episode of Grey’s Anatomy, and get 8 hours of sleep. Self-care WHAT UP!
What are some examples of self care that you’re practicing? Share in the comments.
Xx, kim
Photography by Victoria Jmourko
LOVED THIS ONE! You’re so right. We indulge in those unproductive behaviours and consider it indulging….when it isn’t. It’s not a good idea but we think it is because it feels good IMMEDIATELY. But it bites in you in the butt later. Awesome advice girl!
Thanks for your comment! I’m glad you liked the post and got something out of it π xx
‘true self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you donβt need to regularly escape from.’ love that and it’s the truth! it’s a daily practice and it is NOT selfish (:
Exactly! Thanks for your comment Jessica! xx
You are so right, self-care should not be something we do to escape our day to day lives but should be done everyday in order not to have to take breaks or hours to say it’s all about giving ourselves some time off.
Absolutely! We need to live at a good pace/balance so that we don’t need SO many escapes! xx
I love the quote about building a life that you don’t have to escape from. I left a career that was no longer serving me and have gotten out of relationships that were toxic, so I know how hard it can be. I had to do what’s right for me and my well-being.
That’s amazing Willow! Good for you. It’s not easy to do those things, but they NEED to be done! xx
Totally agree with your sentiments and I actually wrote a post about self care last month, too! Self care requires a lot more thought than many people think it does.
It definitely does! Thanks for your comment! xx
Very true, everything you said. I write about burn out in the job and so much is knowing that you need to put the care of yourself first and not feel guilty about it.
100% you do! And definitely do not feel guilty about putting yourself first! xx
Ugh I love this so much- I never really thought about self care this way but it’s so true!! Needing to escape from your life is like 99 percent of our population I feel like… I think self care is often times not doing as many “things” in general- like yes, it’s great to be advancing and we should always try to be better than we were yesterday- but I feel like there’s way too much pressure today to “do” more and more. As a result, we all burnout.
Yes, there’s A LOT of pressure on us these days to do better, do more, etc. We have to reel that back and take control of our own lives and NOT give into the pressure. Do what’s best for you!
Love the coat. I definitely don’t practice self-care and I really, really need to. It’s been very hard to really take time for myself.
Thanks Nancy! It’s from Ever New! π And yes, don’t forget to take time for yourself! xx
It is so important to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from. Great work.
Thanks so much Sondra! xx
self careis so important and over looked
It definitely is looked over! Which is why we should bring awareness to it whenever we can π Thanks for your comment xx