So, I’ve been meaning to write this post for a VERY long time.
And I felt that since today is my birthday, (what up 32!!) it was the perfect time to get REAL AF and publish this post. I always like to get a bit philosophical on my birthday, because when the date gets closer, I do a lot of reflecting. Reflecting on the year. What have I accomplished this year? What goals haven’t I reached? What did I miss?
But I also reflect on my relationships. My current friends, my family, my significant other, co-workers, etc. It’s important to reflect on the people in your life. Who is there for you? Who isn’t? Who is a fake-ass friend? Who brings you down? Your circle of friends and people in your life can really shape who you are as a person. They can shape the way you make decisions. So those negative ones need to go. You know?
Anyway, the idea of this post came to mind, when I was hanging out with my 16-year old “little sister.” Who, by the way shot all these fabulous images in this post. For those of you who are new to following me, I’m a Big Brother, Big Sister volunteer for 2 years now, and my little sister, Jordan, is one of the most talented and smartest 16-year olds I know. We have become extremely close over the years. She sort of gave me the idea for this post when she said something along the lines of “you’re so accomplished in life,” as she was admiring our home and asking questions about adulting.
And the funny thing is, I never really stop and realize just how accomplished I am.
Here’s the thing – we’re constantly scrolling on social media where we see Betty who is flawless and gorgeous and has the perfect body, oh and she eats pizza for dinner, and then there’s Melanie who is travelling the world, and George and Amy who are high school sweethearts with two perfect children and a white picket fence home. And ALL we do is compare compare compare! We don’t even know these people really, and yet we’re still comparing our lives to theirs. And 9/10 times, we want their life. What we don’t know is that flawless Betty may be battling body issues, and Melanie who travels the world is in serious debt, and perfect George and Amy fight every single day. All we know is what we see on social media. Which as an influencer, let me tell you, is not real life.
Real life is not #MotivationalMonday or #OOTD or #couplegoals or #sponsored.
It’s more like #IhateMondayMornings #NeedToDoLaundy #MyDayJobSucks. #PleaseFuckOff
But like, can we start using more of these hashtags?
What I’m saying here is, you ARE accomplished. You may see these people on Instagram and think you’re not, but you are. You have to create your own path in life. If your goal growing up was to be married and have kids before 30 and you’re not there yet, fuck it. Don’t stress over that. Create your own path. Re-jig that goal.
If your goal was to start your own business at 25 and you haven’t yet, work harder. Make that goal possible at 30.
Life is not black and white. It’s more like shades of grey and with tones of blues and pinks. You know?
I thought I would be married and have at least one kid by 30. And then I ended a 7-year toxic relationship when I was 29. 29!! A year away from 30…
I had a choice. Do I stay in this relationship, get married, have kids and be miserable? Or do I leave at 29 and completely start over? It was the hardest decision, but obviously I left.
So, here I was. Single, broken, and no desire to date. And now in no way was I going to find a someone, get married, and have babies in ONE year. All my goals had to change. I wasn’t going to be married anytime soon. Nor was I going to have kids anytime soon. I had to start from scratch.
But, I decided to create my own path in life and not worry about it. Who says you need my be married at a certain age? Who says you have to have babies by 30? NO ONE. You are in control of every aspect of your life. You can make it what you want it to be. And you ARE accomplished.
Since then, I’ve started The Chic Confidential blog, built my brand and a platform that I’m SO proud of, secured so many long-term partnerships, ran into many Chic Confidential readers, found the love of my life (celebrated 2 years with him last week!) spent time with the people that matter in my life, bought a home, traveled to new countries, and been genuinely happy. Being genuinely happy (not social media happy) is ALSO an accomplishment. So, don’t rule that out.
I’m 32, not married, no kids, plan did not go according to how I wanted it years ago, but that’s totally fine. I’m creating my own path in life, and as long as I’m okay with it, then it’s great. Life is yours for the making. Don’t let fears, insecurity or what others want, hold you back from making life on your own terms.
And who cares about Betty, Melanie, George and Amy. Be happy for them. Celebrate their accomplishments. And your own accomplishments.
Anyway, that’s my little birthday rant.
FUN FACT – I made this tulle skirt like 5 years ago before I went to Paris. I really wanted a super dramatic, Audrey Hepburn-ish look for Paris. I mean, it’s Paris after all, so why not? I roamed the streets wearing this skirt I made (during Paris fashion week) ate baguettes, drank a lot of rosé, and loved every moment of it. Have you guys been?
Also – I’d love your thought on this post. Share them in the comments, and come follow me on Instagram.
Off to enjoy the gorgeous day.
GET THIS LOOK HERE:
Photography by Jordan Estelle.